


You Can Try

by humanitys_cutest



Category: Cool Kiz on the Block, DBSK | Tohoshinki | TVfXQ | TVXQ
Genre: Angst, Dirty Talk, Fluff, M/M, Wall Sex, lots of smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-05
Updated: 2014-01-09
Packaged: 2018-01-03 14:04:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1071318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/humanitys_cutest/pseuds/humanitys_cutest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Changmin grins, looking up at someone for the first time in his life. He thinks he likes the feeling.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"That really hurt, Changmin."   
  
Changmin looks up in the middle of throwing on a clean shirt. Julien is standing at the door, all 193 cm of him, leaning against his waiting room door with his hands in his pockets. His eyes are on Changmin’s chest, and Changmin quickly tugs his shirt over himself, cheeks warm.   
  
“Did it really? I wasn’t even using my full strength because I like you so much, hyung.”   
  
Julien narrows his eyes at him, coming closer to him. “Wow, thanks, I’m so grateful.”  
  
Changmin grins, looking up at someone for the first time in his life. He thinks he likes the feeling. “Did it hurt your feelings, hyung?”   
  
“It did, you should...you know, apologize.”   
  
Changmin is about to open his mouth and snicker a reply when someone knocks on the door to his waiting room. They both turn to look; John is standing at the door, looking, as usual, like he doesn’t know what’s going on. “Are you coming, hyung-deul? Everyone’s ready to go.”  
  
The cast, with the exception of Hyejung, who had politely excused herself, and some of the staff had announced an impromptu dinner after filming; Changmin had been planning on going home and getting some much needed sleep, but Julien had asked earlier if he was going to dinner with them, and Changmin knew that wasn’t what he was really asking, so he said yes.   
  
“Yeah, we’re coming,” Julien answered, moving away from Changmin.   
  
Changmin sniggers because he is mentally 12 years old. “Together, I hope, hyung?” he asks slyly, and Julien gives him an unimpressed look over his shoulder.   
  
John doesn’t get it. “Well, yeah, we’re all going together,” he says, the confusion obvious in his voice.   
  
Changmin laughs, and then picks up his bag and slings an arm over John’s shoulder. “Oh okay, I was confused for a bit,” he says to John, but his eyes are on Julien behind him. Julien is looking back at him, and Changmin turns away with a smirk. He feels Julien’s eyes on him all the way to the parking lot.   
  
***  
  
They were shown into a private room, and the dinner is fun. Changmin finds he is glad he decided to stay. They were all guys, so they could be as loud and dirty as they wanted.   
  
Hodong, Sugeun, and Jinyoung were off to one side, entertaining themselves as only entertainers could. Jiseok and John were sitting next to each other across from him, and Julien was sitting next to him. They had been talking for all of five minutes before he felt Julien’s hand on his thigh. Changmin had looked at him, but Julien was talking smoothly to Jiseok across from him. Changmin felt slightly skittish, but let him continue to touch him under the low table.   
  
After everyone had a few beers, the atmosphere had loosened up a bit and they were all properly relaxed. The beer had him pleasantly buzzed, and Julien’s wandering hand wasn’t making him as nervous as it first had. He touches back hesitantly, and at first Julien seems slightly surprised, but then he eggs Changmin on. Feeling bold, Changmin slips his hand over his thighs and onto his groin. The jeans don’t give him much room to grasp him, but it’s enough to make Julien choke on his beer. Jiseok asks if he’s okay, and he grits out, “Just fine, thanks for asking.”   
  
Changmin giggles, and then withdraws his hand.   
  
After a while, John passes out and Jiseok gets up to use the bathroom. Julien turns to him.   
  
“Can we stop playing around now?” he says, voice low.  
  
“Who’s playing?” Changmin replies, laughter in his voice, and he is most definitely more than a little tipsy.   
  
“Come home with me.”   
  
Changmin stops laughing. He looks at Julien, and the handsome face looks back steadily. He doesn’t seem drunk at all.   
  
“You still have to apologize, you know.”  
  
“Oh...yeah. I should apologize,” Changmin says, staring at his mouth and wondering how it would taste. Julien’s piercing eyes are having a sobering effect on him, and Changmin feels lust unfurl through him.   
  
Julien excuses himself from the dinner first, saying goodbye to the rest of the cast as Hodong calls a cab for John, who is now drooling on the table.   
  
Every one of Changmin’s nerves are on fire, and he is itching to jump up after Julien, but he has to wait a while before he can leave. Finally, after an agonizing ten minutes, he leaves with hurried goodbyes, trying not to run to the parking lot and make a complete fool of himself.  
  
Julien is waiting in his car, and when he sees Changmin he waves a hand out his window.   
  
Changmin makes his way over to the car, a shiny silver Audi R8 Spyder. He whistles in appreciation as he gets into the passenger seat, the smell of leather and the scent of Julien’s cologne mixing in the car. Julien grins as he starts the car and backs out of the parking spot, one hand on the back of Changmin’s seat as he looks back. Changmin thinks he is so hot with his smooth driving, and then flushes from how close he is, then grows angry with himself for acting like a boy with a crush. Which he is.   
  
“You like?”  
  
“Yes, it’s very nice,” Changmin replies, but Julien catches his eyes focused on the way his shirt clings to his abs.   
  
“I was talking about the car, Changmin-ah,” Julien teases.   
  
Changmin looks away, too fast to be smooth, cheeks heating up. “I was too,” he mumbles.   
  
Julien just smiles knowingly, and they say nothing more on the drive to Julien’s apartment.   
  
***  
  
Julien kisses him as soon as they are in the elevator; this late at night, no one was around to make them cautious. Changmin is caught off guard for a moment, but then he kisses back just as enthusiastically, hands coming up to hold his face. Julien’s floor comes too soon, and as the elevator doors open he has to physically push him off in case someone is around.   
  
They stumble into his apartment, which Changmin thinks must be really nice but he has no time to look because Julien is holding his chin and eating his lips off and everything is silent except for their harsh breathing and pants. They make it to his bedroom but Julien doesn’t push him onto the bed, instead lifting him in his arms, forcing Changmin to wrap his arms and legs around him, and pushing him against the wall. He can feel Julien's erection pressing against his ass, and his own cock hardens.   
  
Changmin can’t ever remember feeling so small and overpowered as Julien lifts him higher against the wall and mouths into his neck. He tilts his head back, eyes closing, sparks of lust igniting from wherever Julien puts his lips. He tugs at Julien's shirt, and Julien obliges him, leaning away slightly to throw his shirt off before coming back to lick at his collarbone. Changmin touches whatever he can get his hands on, broad shoulders and rippling back muscles and washboard abs. He does his best to grind down on Julien’s hard cock, and Julien groans against his throat.   
  
He pushes Julien's mouth away from him. Julien looks dazed, eyes unfocused as he looks back at Changmin. He looks so completely out of it Changmin feels something like affection rush up at him, and he slams their lips together again, moaning hungrily when Julien invades his mouth with his tongue, exploring every inch of Changmin and Changmin thrives in it.   
  
"Hyung...Julien hyung," Changmin gasps, wanting more but unable to voice it.   
  
"Such a whore Changmin-ah," Julien whispers hotly. "I heard you're into that kinky shit. Is that right?"   
  
"Where-where did you hear that," Changmin pants, hands gripping his shoulders, as Julien slips a hand between them and strokes his half-hard cock through the fabric of his basketball shorts.   
  
"Changmin, please, don't make me out to be an idiot, you've said all that shit on national television. Your fans have had a lot of fun with it online."  
  
"You've searched my name online?" Changmin manages to get out as Julien continues to stroke, precum now soaking through the fabric, and he feels a flash of triumph when Julien looks caught. He smirks.   
  
It's quickly gone when Julien puts his hand in his shorts and squeezes his cock. "Ohhhh, fuck," he moans, forehead falling against Julien's shoulder.   
  
"What were you saying, Changdola?"   
  
Immediately Changmin's head snaps up. "Don't call me that," he snarls, digging his nails into his back and doing his best to hurt him.   
  
Julien doesn't seem to notice. He grins at Changmin, voice taunting. "How come? Only your husband can call you that?" He snakes his hand further down Changmin's shorts to wrap his hand around Changmin's balls. The anger deflates out of him like air out of a balloon.   
  
"I don't have a husband," he says weakly, pawing at his hand.   
  
"No, you don't, you have hyungs you go to when you want to be fucked. Right?"   
  
"Stop-stop that, don't do that I can't do anything if you do," Changmin whimpers, trying to remove himself from Julien's grip.   
  
Julien does, shifting him in his arms to take off Changmin's shorts as he does so and leaving him in his boxers. His hand comes up to play with Changmin's nipple, twisting and tugging at the nub until it completely hardens. "I'm right, aren't I?"  
  
"Ungf?"  
  
"You, you go to Yunho and Jongsu and Heechul and tell them you want to be fucked and they fuck you, don't they," Julien says, giving the same treatment to the other nipple as he licks the shell of Changmin's ears.  
  
"N-no," Changmin gasps.   
  
"Yes you do." His voice is calm as brings his lips to Changmin's own, biting down on them.   
  
"I don't!" Changmin protests, not even sure what he's denying anymore with the way Julien is moving his mouth over Changmin's, occasionally dipping his tongue in.   
  
"Admit it or I won't fuck you."   
  
Changmin snarls, getting angry. "Are you fucking serious?"   
  
"Yes I'm fucking serious. I will tie you to this bed and put a cock ring on you. I'll masturbate on top of you and come all over you, and the whole time you'll watch me and beg me to let you come, but I won't listen. I'll drip candle wax over your pretty body-I know you'd like that- and blindfold you and maybe even gag you, depending on how mouthy you're being. Maybe I'll keep the ring on you all night, come on you a couple times and then go to sleep and you'll still be begging for release. How does that sound, pretty boy?"   
  
Changmin snaps his teeth at him and punches his shoulder. Hard.   
  
He may as well have punched a rock; Julien doesn't even flinch.   
  
"Or maybe I'll do the opposite, make you come over and over again with no rest, until I fuck all the come out of you and there's nothing left. Would you like that better, you brat?"   
  
"Just fuck me you dick!"   
  
"Yes, you'd like that wouldn't you?" With this, Julien reaches over to his dresser, keeping his eyes on Changmin's the whole time with that stupid grin on his face, and Changmin kind of wants to rip his face off. Julien snatches up a bottle of lube, popping it open and squeezing a generous amount onto his hands. He rubs it with his fingers and then pulls down Changmin's boxers, bringing his fingers to Changmin's hole. Just when Changmin thinks he's finally getting what he wants, Julien brushes his fingers against it teasingly.   
  
"Well?"  
  
"What?!" Changmin snarls.   
  
"Admit you're a cockwhore."   
  
Changmin digs his nails into the sides of his neck. "Fuck you!"   
  
Julien thrusts a finger in up to the knuckles, and Changmin moans, but it's not enough, he wants more, he wants Julien's dick and he wants it _fucking now_. "Hurry up."   
  
And fuck, he is so hot with his calm ordering that Changmin lets out an embarrassing sound.   
  
"Alright alright, I'm a cockwhore," Changmin grits out, cheeks flaming.   
  
"Louder."   
  
Changmin lets out an angry sound of frustration, hitting him with his fists, and then, "I'm a fucking cockwhore!"   
  
"Good boy," Julien praises, and shoves the rest of the finger into Changmin, causing Changmin to jolt up the wall.   
  
Changmin grips his shoulders, the burn of Julien's finger in him enough to water his eyes a little. Julien slides his finger in and out, watching his face. "More," Changmin says, breath shaky.   
  
Julien slides in another finger, and another quickly joins; apparently Changmin wasn't the only impatient one.   
  
"Okay okay that's good, enough," Changmin says, patience reaching its breaking point.   
  
Julien takes his fingers out and quickly shoves his jeans and boxers down, his dick standing red and spilling precum.   
He slicks himself up generously, and Changmin only now notices that his hands are shaking slightly.   
  
_That must hurt_ , Changmin thinks as he stares down at it. It was an angry shade of red, and Changmin is a little bit in awe of how much control Julien has over himself; Changmin had no clue he was so hard. The thought of a cock so thick and hard in him was almost enough to make him come.   
  
Julien takes his dick in hand and thrusts up into Changmin so fast he doesn't know what happened.   
  
"Oh, oh, fuck, w-wait hold on oh fuck," Changmin chokes out.   
  
Julien smirks at him, and then smooths his hand up and down Changmin's thighs, mouthing and licking his jaw.   
  
When the pain turns into the smallest wisps of pleasure, Changmin rolls his hips tentatively. It shoots flashes of pleasure up his spine, and both of them groan. His cock is throbbing with the need to come.   
  
"You brat, did I say you could move?" Julien says, voice sounding strained.   
  
"I don't need your permission," Changmin says, smirking.   
  
Julien rams into him once, and leaves Changmin gasping. "Yes you do."   
  
Changmin doesn't respond, trying not to come just yet.   
  
"What's the matter, Changmin? Can't take this much cock? You should be used to it by now no? Or maybe your hyung isn't as big as everyone thinks he is. Maybe he doesn't satisfy your needs, you great big slut."   
  
Changmin ignores his insults; he's just realized something. "You want me. You've wanted me for a long time." It wasn't a question.   
  
Julien starts a slow rhythm. "You're cocky."   
  
"You searched my name online. You found fanfics about me and hyung and it made you jealous," Changmin jeers at him.   
  
Julien's eyes flash, and his mouth turns downwards. Changmin gets what he wants; Julien grips his thighs in a punishing hold and starts pounding into him, angry, and Changmin loves every second of it.  
  
His head is banging against the wall every time Julien thrusts into him, but he doesn't want him to stop, so he keeps taunting him. "You- you read all those fanfics and...ooh...you wanted to do that stuff to me," Changmin manages between moans. He wraps his arms around Julien's neck, bringing his mouth to his ear. He pants heavily close to his ear, and feels the shiver make its way through Julien's body and the moan escape his lips.   
  
"You want me so bad and you're jealous I'm hyung's."   
  
Julien snaps his head to the side and bites his ear; Changmin whimpers, and brings his hands up to Julien's face, forcing it towards him and biting his lips. Hard. He doesn't let go even when Julien cries out in pain and tries to break away from him. When he tastes blood, he unlatches and licks at his lips in apology. And all the while, Julien is shoving himself in and out of Changmin's ass as if he could fuck the cheekiness out of him.   
  
Julien glares at him. "You are such a fucking brat."   
  
"That's why you want me."   
  
Julien growls, unable to deny it. He fits his arms around Changmin and pulls out of him. Changmin whines, mouth open to protest, but then Julien carries him to the bed and drops him on it. Changmin looks up at him, sprawled on his back.   
  
"Hands and knees," Julien says curtly, and Changmin can almost feel the tight control ready to snap.   
  
Changmin does as he says, if only because he needs release just as much as Julien. Julien enters him swiftly, and this time he doesn't play around. He starts an unrelenting rhythm, hands so tight on his hips Changmin knows there will be bruises, and the vulgar sound of skin slapping against skin and their heavy panting fills the room. The new position soon has Julien hitting his spot, and Changmin almost explodes. Changmin's mind is in a haze, one thought picking up and breaking off before it can be concluded before another makes its way in.   
  
"Touch yourself," Julien orders from behind, and Changmin is glad that he isn't the only one who can't breath properly.   
  
He brings his hand to his cock, pumping it quickly. Julien is going too hard and fast though, and Changmin loses his balance, falling on his face with his ass in the air. Julien is hitting his spot over and over again, and a few tugs is all it takes before his orgasm rushes up at him and he falls over.   
  
He comes with a shout, and his involuntary clenching causes Julien to follow right after. His body shakes uncontrollably, and finally he collapses on the bed with Julien still in him.   
  
None of them make any motion to move, laying there as they catch their breaths.   
  
"Get off me you giant," Changmin mumbles after a long moment.   
  
Julien chuckles tiredly. He kisses the back of his neck, and then slowly pulls out of him before falling to the side. "Fuck I can't move."   
  
Changmin turns his head towards him, still on his stomach. He can feel his come on his thighs and stomach, but can't bring himself to move.   
  
Julien is laying on his back with his eyes closed, chest moving up and down. Changmin watches him for a while, liking the way his lashes lay on his cheeks and his lips are parted.   
  
Julien opens his eyes and looks at him. "We should clean up."   
  
"We should," Changmin agrees. Neither of them move.   
  
Julien laughs softly, and then rolls over to grab tissue from the nightstand. He cleans them both up, Changmin feeling too lazy to move and more than willing to let Julien do the work. He throws the dirty tissues into the trash, and then comes back to Changmin.   
  
"You."   
  
"What."   
  
"Spoon me."  
  
"Spoon me, _hyung_."   
  
" _Spoon me you fucker_."   
  
"Okay."   
  
Changmin smiles in satisfaction as Julien climbs into bed and turns Changmin on his side, wrapping his arms around his waist. He goes an extra step further and bends his knees, forcing Changmin to do the same until Changmin is curled into a ball with Julien cocooned aroud him, Changmin resting his arms on Julien's. Changmin is feeling warm and happy, and the long day of filming and basketball catches up with him as he feels his eyes flutter shut.   
  
He knows he's a little out of his mind when he mumbles, "I get why women like big, tall men."   
  
Julien laughs behind him, his warm breath hitting the back of his neck. "Changmin-ah, did you just compare yourself to a woman?"   
  
"...fuck."   
  
"It's okay, there's nothing wrong with being a pretty boy," Julien murmurs against his neck, kissing him lightly.   
  
"Leave me alone."   
  
Julien makes to move away, and Changmin's eyes snap open, turning to look at him as he clutches his arms, staying them around him.   
  
"What are you doing?!"   
  
"You told me to leave you alone so..."   
  
"As if you'd listen that easily," Changmin huffs. "I didn't mean physically, I meant I want to sleep."   
  
Julien chuckles, and then settles around Changmin again. "Alright, go to sleep pretty boy."   
  
Changmin tightens Julien's arms around him.   
  
"Don't try that again, I'll hurt you," Changmin grumbles as his eyes close again. He falls asleep to Julien kissing his nape.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fresh out of the shower, Julien knows who to expect when his doorbell rings at 11 at night. He knows he'll find a tired puppy-deer mix, looking at him with doe eyes that silently demand food and showers and sex and cuddles.

His entire body aches. It always ached, he's become used to it, but he's reached the end of his rope and wants to curl up and cry and sleep for a couple years. 

Filming Cool Kiz, filming his drama, practicing for their comeback, preparing for concerts. There were too many things to do, and the only way to keep up was to push himself beyond the limit. He's done that before, but he felt much more cynical about it this time than he ever had before. 

One day of rest. That's all he wanted. One day to relax, to pop open a couple beers and stuff his face with food. To watch mindless garbage on TV, have sex till he couldn't think. 

And he was finally getting it. A whole 18 hours to himself. They had meetings tomorrow, early in the morning, but Yunho had seen his exhaustion and his slowly worsening temper, and told him to take a break. He would attend the meetings alone, take care of everything that needed taking care of, and Changmin could go home and take a breather till their flight to Japan at 5 in the evening tomorrow. 

Changmin had protested, said he didn't have to do anything alone, but Yunho firmly told him everything was fine, and that Changmin should go unwind with Julien. 

At that Changmin had smiled gratefully, if a little weakly, and Yunho had just squeezed his shoulder, smiling back. 

That was how he found himself in their car, Yunho talking to their managers about nothing in particular, while he sat quietly and stared out the window, too tired to talk, but happy all the same. Thinking about Julien always made him happy and warm. 

"Changmin-ah, should I drop you off at Julien's?" their manager asked from the driver's seat. 

He replied with a yes, and then chuckled to himself. He spent so much of his free time there, all of his managers, even Yunho's, knew where Julien lived, and recently some of them had stopped even asking Changmin where he wanted to go. This hyung still asked, even though he was already headed in that direction. 

The car stopped in front of Julien's high rise apartment, and he turned to say goodbye to his managers and Yunho, all of whom waved back. "Relax, okay, Changmin-ah?" Yunho said. 

Changmin nodded and then got out of the car, lugging his bag with him. The car drove away, and he turned to head into the building. 

***

Fresh out of the shower, Julien knows who to expect when his doorbell rings at 11 at night. He knows he'll find a tired puppy-deer mix, looking at him with doe eyes that silently demand food and showers and sex and cuddles. 

What he doesn't expect is a puppy-deer mix that looks like he's about to fall over from exhaustion. His eyes are red, the shadows under them more prominent than he's ever seen. 

"Changmin-ah?" 

Concern laces his brows as he pulls Changmin inside and closes the door behind him. Changmin doesn't say anything, only brings his arms up to wrap around Julien, head buried in his chest. 

Julien is a little surprised, but circles his own arms around Changmin's waist, hugging him close. He knows something is wrong, but if the past month has taught him anything about Changmin, it's that the younger man doesn't reveal anything until he's ready to, and then Julien can prod. 

So he waits, and kisses Changmin's temples, his cheeks, his ear, his neck. He feels Changmin relax in his hold, breath warm against his neck. "What's wrong?" he asks softly. 

"Tired," Changmin mumbles, rubbing his nose in his neck and breathing deeply. "You smell nice."

Julien smiles, and then tugs Changmin's head back a bit. Changmin protests weakly, but when Julien meets his lips with his own, he quiets down and presses closer. His eyes are closed, and Julien is pretty sure it's not out of a desire to be romantic or whatever, but really because the younger man couldn't even keep his eyes open. He smiles into the kiss as Changmin kisses him, almost mindlessly. He keeps his eyes open, not wanting to miss even a moment with the younger man. 

After a few moments, he breaks away, but Changmin's lips try to follow him. When he meets nothing but air, he lets his head fall back into Julien's neck, lips pressing against the warm skin. Julien shivers, and nudges his cheek with his nose. "Have you eaten?"

"Yeah, wanna shower and sleep," Changmin murmurs. 

So Julien picks him up, and Changmin wraps his arms and legs around him, resting his forehead on Julien's shoulder. Julien continues to press kisses against his neck as he carries him into the bathroom. 

"Didn't you already shower?" Changmin asks sleepily. 

"Yeah, but I don't want you falling asleep in here," Julien replies as he strips Changmin out of his sweaty practice clothes, and then himself. 

"Sure, you just want another excuse to touch me," Changmin says, sounding strangely smug for someone who was about to fall over a few minutes ago. 

And yeah, he's right, but Julien won't tell him that. He just scowls at him instead. Changmin smirks back, so Julien pushes him towards the shower. 

He makes no protests as he is led into the shower. He leans against the tiles and closes his eyes, waiting as Julien adjusts the water temperature and then pulls him carefully under the spray. 

Julien starts at his hair, letting the water wet it thoroughly before shampooing it, hands rubbing gently against his scalp. Changmin lets out a pleased sound and Julien smiles. 

"You know," Julien murmurs, hands still massaging his scalp, "you still haven't apologized."

Changmin opens an eye and peers at him curiously. "For what?"

"For flicking me."

Changmin closes his eye again under the spray, smiling. He doesn't say anything more, and Julien knows as well as he does that he's still using that flimsy excuse to keep him around. The both of them know what it's really about, that as long as they pretend Julien still wants an apology, they can keep doing whatever it is they're doing. Neither of them know what their relationhip is anymore, but that doesn't mean they want it to stop. He doesn't want to think about the day Changmin apologizes, and then he'll truly have no excuse to keep him close. At least, Julien muses, as long as Changmin doesn't apologize, it means that Changmin doesn't want to leave either. Maybe he will one day, but it's not today, so Julien will leave the worry for another day. 

Changmin leans heavily into him, barely keeping on his feet, and it's not a problem until Julien tries to soap him. 

"Changminnie, move a bit so I can soap you," he says, trying to pull Changmin away from him a bit. 

"No," Changmin whines, pressing closer and circling his arms around him. 

Julien rolls his eyes and pulls him a bit more firmly. Changmin detaches from his body and leans against the tiles again, out of the shower spray, but gives him a glare for good measure. Julien just kisses him and continues touching him with soapy hands all over. 

His hands trail down to Changmin's cock, stroking it lightly before moving down to his balls, watching him. Changmin's eyes open and he groans, hand stopping Julien's from continuing his ministrations there. "Too tired for this, Julien." 

Julien chuckles. "Okay pretty boy." 

He pulls him under the spray again and lets the water wash the suds away and runs hands over him again. Once all the soap has been washed away, he decreases the pressure of the spray so it's falling a bit more gently and turns back to gather Changmin in his arms. 

"Such a gorgeous boy," he murmurs into Changmin's hair, hands stroking his wet sides. He's already clean now, but the warmth of the shower combined with the heat of Changmin's body is making it hard to leave. Just for a little longer, he wants to stay with Changmin in their warm bubble, completely content. 

Changmin looks up at his words, and manages to smile sleepily at him. He brings his hands up to cup his face, pulling him down gently to kiss him under the soft spray. Julien licks at his lips hungrily, unable to get enough of the man. Those plush lips seemed _made_ for kissing and biting and sucking on. So he does all of that, eliciting moans from the younger man that he eagerly swallows. 

Changmin's fingers slide into his wet hair, and Julien thinks its the most pleasant feeling in the world, the way Changmin's soft hands are pressing softly against his head as he presses their lips together. 

He pulls away to breath, dazed, and Changmin smirks at him. Julien nips his bottom lip one more time, and then turns the shower off. Changmin is immediately clinging to him, complaining about the cold. 

Julien laughs and kisses him, taking him out of the shower where he dries him from head to toe and then dresses him in clean clothes. Changmin is back to being lifeless and sleepy, not even bothering to make the whole process easier. Julien has to pinch him to get him to lift his legs so he can put sweatpants on him, and although Changmin lifts his legs, he smacks Julien's shoulder in revenge. 

As he is getting back up, he presses a trail of kisses from his navel, up and up, all the way to his throat and lips. Changmin smiles at him, gaze full of something Julien is hesitant to name. Julien picks him up instead and slings him over his shoulders like a sack. Changmin must be really tired, Julien muses as he carries him to his bedroom, because he doesn't even complain, resigning himself to his fate and swinging his arms as if dead. Julien chuckles and slaps his ass, drawing an indignant noise from him, and Changmin retaliates by slapping his. 

Julien would like to pinch his pert butt for being such a brat, but he knows Changmin will just pinch him back so he does nothing, instead dumping him on the bed. 

Changmin bounces on it, looking surprised, but then he flops back and takes all the space, seemingly too tired to fight anymore. Which is a shame, really, as he rather likes it when the brat fights back both verbally and physically. 

"Get on your stomach," Julien orders as he rummages in a drawer for massage oil. 

Finding what he needs, he turns to find Changmin looking at him with a pout. Really, the man's mood swings between biting his head off and then pouting him off the planet were making him dizzy. "I don't wanna have sex! I wanna sleep!" 

Julien crawls on top of him and kisses his pouting lips. "I know baby, let me give you a massage." 

Changmin brightens considerably, making Julien's heart flip. God, he had missed that smile. Julien kisses him again just for unleashing that mismatched smile.   
Changmin rolls over, limbs splayed as he waits for Julien. Julien sits next to him cross legged as he poured the sweet scented oil into his hands before bringing his hands to Changmin wrists. 

Changmin watches him with curiousity, but stays quiet, eyes heavy lidded. 

Gently, Julien starts massaging his wrists, planning on starting there and moving to the rest of his body. He knows Changmin works too hard, and his muscles must be aching from dancing and moving around all day. He moves his thumbs in small circles, pressing gently. 

Slowly, he moves up his arm, never stopping his thumb's motion. When he reaches Changmin's bicep, Changmin groans, eyes closing, so Julien continues massaging that area until he works out all the knots. 

He shifts closer and moves onto his shoulders, where Changmin lets out more groans, never opening his eyes. "Ah, hyung, that hurts." 

"It's alright, I'll fix it," he murmurs into his ears. Changmin makes a sound of pleasure as he continues to work his fingers there. 

With the same meticulous care, he moves to his other arm, and then down his smooth back, careful to relieve him of the tension and oiling his hands whenever there's no oil left to work into Changmin's skin. 

By the time Julien reaches his lower back, Changmin is fast asleep, breathing deeply. Julien stops what he's doing and gazes at him for a while, awestruck by how beautiful Changmin is, even in his exhausted state. Huge Bambi eyes that he lost himself in, high cheekbones, luscious lips, a breathtaking smile. His features themselves were ordinary, but when they were brought together like that, they created the masterpiece that Julien saw right now, that he could spend an eternity looking at. 

Changmin was an Adonis bought to life, a marble statue sculpted by skilled hands and then breathed life into. Julien knew he was lucky to have even met the man. That such a precious human being would allow Julien to become his lover was something Julien still couldn't wrap his head around. 

Yes, he knew he was lucky, but oh so unfortunate to fall in love with the man hundreds of thousands of hearts yearned for. 

And Changmin, sweet, oblivious, naive Changmin, seemed to have no idea how deep his feelings ran. Oh Julien was sure Changmin knew about his feelings, on some level, but he would never truly understand how Julien desired him beyond simple fuck buddies. 

Julien sighed, shaking himself out of his unpleasant thoughts, and went back to massaging Changmin. He wouldn't feel it, of course, but Julien knows that when he wakes up tomorrow morning he'll feel infinitely less sore. 

He kneads his buttocks, down to the back of his thighs and then his calf and shins. 

When he's done, he gets up slowly so as not to wake him and then gets ready for bed. 

By the time he's ready, it's passed 12:30, having spent the better part of an hour massaging him. He gets into bed, turning Changmin gently onto his side. He's careful with him, but Changmin seems dead to the world and doesn't shift at all. 

Sighing, Julien wraps his arms around him and kisses his neck. "I love you, Changminnie." 

***

Julien dreams of wonderful scents and milky skin and soft hands, charming smiles and sweet lips, and he finds that his reality isn't that much different. 

***

He wakes to a warm body burrowing closer to him. His eyes open to a mess of black locks under his chin, long arms around his waist. 

Rays of sunshine slip passed the gauzy white curtains, reaching inside to carress the floppy haired puppy in Julien's bed and currently tucked into him. Julien squints against the light and resolves to buy heavier curtains. 

"Changmin-ah?" His voice is rough with sleep and only slightly confused. 

His bedfellow stops fidgeting and opens his eyes to look up at him with a sheepish smile. Seems like he's been awake for a while, Julien thinks. "Good morning," he says to him, grinning. 

Julien smiles back automatically, pleased to see Changmin looks happier than last night. He lifts a hand to his face, pushing strands of hair out of his eyes and then ruffling it. "Feeling better?" 

"Yes, much better," Changmin answers, leaning up to kiss his jaw. "Thanks."

Julien hums in answer, stroking his hands up and down Changmin's side, eyes closing of their own accord while Changmin continues to press kisses all over his jaw and neck. 

He's enjoying the attention when Changmin stops and moves to lie on top of him. "Julien, wake up now," Changmin singsongs, tugging his ears lightly. 

"Leave me alone," Julien mumbles, moving his head to the side to stop Changmin from touching his ears. He doesn't want him to leave him alone, but he knows Changmin hates it when he doesn't have Julien's complete attention on him and begins to pout excessively. Knowing the amount of sulking taking place above him, Julien enjoys teasing him

even more. 

"But Julien~, it's already ten! Wake up now!"

The brat won't stop tugging his ears and trying to pry his eyelids open. He pinches his ass to make him stop, and Changmin jolts slightly from surprise before making an indignant sound and getting up to straddle him. 

He still refuses to open his eyes, knowing he is annoying Changmin with his lack of a response and taking immense satisfaction from it. He hears shuffling above him and then Changmin's hands are slipping under his shirt. 

"Come on, Julien, open your eyes." 

Julien doesn't, pretending not to hear him. 

He can practically _hear_ Changmin pouting and scowling, and tries not to grin from glee. 

Changmin suddenly takes his hand and moves them to lay on naked skin. This, at last, makes him curious enough to open his eyes. 

And then he's wide awake. 

Changmin is sitting on top of him with no shirt on, bright eyed, and it was his hips Julien found his hands on. 

"Oh _now_ you wake up. How come you only ever want to have sex, you pervert," Changmin grumbles. 

He knows Changmin doesn't mean it, but the comment stings more than it should, and his whole mood shifts. Is that really how Changmin sees him? As only wanting sex from him? After all the time they spent together, after Changmin's clothes began to appear in his closets and his toothbrush in his bathroom, all of Changmin's favorite foods in his fridge, how could Changmin still think this was just about the sex? 

He's snapped out of his thoughts by Changmin's voice. "Julien? What's wrong?" Changmin is watching him carefully, picking up on his mood shift. 

Julien tries to smile. "Nothing. You were saying something?" 

Changmin doesn't let it go easily though. "Are you okay?" he asks, and his voice is full of concern and something else he can't quite put a finger on. 

"Yeah, sorry," Julien replies, cupping the back of his head and pulling him down for a kiss. 

It would've been nice, except both of them just woke up, and so their breaths smell like something died in their mouths. 

Changmin pulls away after a second. "Ugh, your breath stinks," he says, making a face. 

"So does yours," Julien answers back easily, grinning at him. It was just a light touch, but he already feels somewhat better. Depressing thoughs are for when Changmin is away from him, not when he is sitting on top of him half naked. 

As if to prove his point, Changmin grinds down on him, watching his face. Julien groans, not expecting it. 

Changmin leans down close, and practically purrs into his ear, "Julien, I wanna ride you."

Julien shivers involuntarily at his words, cock twitching. Changmin rises on his knees and, grinning, shoves his boxers and sweatpants down, twisting to throw them off. 

Naked, he goes back to straddling Julien. He's smiling like a cheschire cat, and Julien can't help but grin at the brat. "Well, get the lube, then." 

Changmin scowls at his commanding tone, but leans over to grab the lube from the nightstand. He's stretched deliciously on top of him, and it takes a lot of self control not to touch him. 

Changmin settles on him again, popping open the lube. Julien bends one arm back to rest his head on and offers his other hand to Changmin, letting him decide how many fingers he wants, completely content to just watch. Changmin lubes three, and then brings his hand to his hole, nudging one finger inside himself. 

He sinks down on the digit, shuddering and then letting out a groan, head thrown back. Julien watches as he lifts himself and then comes back down, fucking himself on his finger and exposing his neck for Julien to see. He resists the urge to surge up and bite his neck, mark him all over. He does nothing, not even trying to search for Changmin's sweet spot. He much prefers to watch Changmin chase his own pleasure. 

His cock is becoming half hard just from hearing the delicious sounds that fall from Changmin's lips. Changmin looks back down, eyes a little glazed, and Julien obliges the silent request by sliding a second finger in. 

Changmin squeezes his eyes shut, and then rides his fingers again. Julien scissors his fingers to help the process along, cock impatient. Before long he shoves a third finger in and Changmin gasps, clutching his shoulders as he fucks himself harder. 

"Oh, Julien...," he moans, nails digging into Julien's shoulders. The pain is just exciting him even more, cock spilling precum and pressing insisitantly against the crack of Changmin's ass. 

When Changmin's moans become too much, he stays his hips and slips his fingers out. Changmin makes a sound of protest, but Julien quickly lifts him up and back, right over his cock. Changmin makes an eager sound and his cock twitches. 

Taking his cock in hand, Julien guides it to Changmin's hole and waits for him to sink down. Changmin does, with a moan of Julien's name that has him trying not to come. Changmin is so delicious around him, all tight heat that encloses around him. 

Inch by inch, Changmin brings himself down on Julien's hard cock, hands still clutching his shoulders. "Fuck fuck fuck so big."

Once seated on Julien, his cock nestled deep inside, he stops, panting, adjusting to him. Julien resists the urge to thrust up, instead running his hands up and down his sides as he waits for Changmin to be ready. 

When he is, Changmin rolls his hips once, and it is so good Julien feels shocks of pleasure shoot up his whole body. Changmin lifts his body and comes back down hard, taking him all the way in. He does it again, almost letting Julien's cock slip out of him. 

His rhythm is hard and fast and he may be the one with the cock up his ass, but he's most definately the one in control. Julien tries to thrust up, but Changmin pushes his hips down and keeps his hands there. 

So Julien lies back and lets Changmin do what he wants. The pressure around his cock is almost too much, he wants to come right now, but doesn't. Every clench of Changmin's muscles fill his mind with a white haze, pleasure thrumming from his cock all the way to his toes, making them curl, before racing up his body and exploding in his head. He's not aware of what he's saying, curses and praise falling from his lips in equal measure. Above him Changmin is just as gone as he is, no longer coherant and rambling about how big Julien's cock is, how good it fills him up. 

Changmin shifts, and the angle of Julien's cock in him changes and it's stabbing against that spot. Changmin screams, grip verging on painful. His fingernails were digging into his skin, and Julien is sure he has drawn blood. He doesn't care though, wants to be marked by Changmin in every way even if it hurts him. 

He snakes his hands into Changmin's hair and pulls him down, capturing his bottom lip between his teeth and biting down. Changmin whimpers into his mouth, never stopping his hips. "Changmin, Changmin, Changmin," he chants, and it's a lifeline keeping him alive, keeping him sane. 

He moves his lips down and bites his collarbone, biting and then suckling it, making sure the bruise will be there. Changmin usually protests against love bites, saying people will see him, but he doesn't say anything this time, only whimpers and moans. 

"Julien, touch me," he breathes into his neck.

Julien immediately snakes his hand between their bodies, wrapping it firmly around Changmin's hot cock. He strokes fast and hard, grip tight. Changmin lets out a choked scream of Julien's name before shuddering and spilling between them, hot spunk landing on Julien's hand and both their stomachs. 

His sporadic clenching around Julien's cock has him groaning and he thrusts up. A couple times is all it takes before he's emptying into Changmin. Changmin continues to clench around him, and it's too much for his oversensative cock. 

"Changmin..." he says, voice strangled. They lay together for long moments, catching their breaths. Changmin shifts and kisses his jaw lazily, eyes closed. Julien hums in pleasure, unable to think of anything better than being able to wake up to a bright eyed and content Changmin and morning sex. 

"We should get up," he murmurs, even though he can't find a single bone in his body that would listen. 

"No, I think we should stay like this forever," Changmin says against his neck. 

Julien's heart flips at his words, and then he smiles. "With my cock in you?" 

"Can't think of a better place for it."

Julien laughs out loud, and wants nothing more than to kiss Changmin thoroughly. 

So he does. 

Changmin can apologize another day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure when I'll be posting the next chapter. I have an idea for where I want this to go, but that's all at this point. Comments are love ^^


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